


Crazy In The Night

by Missy



Category: Army of Darkness (1992), Evil Dead (Movies), Evil Dead - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-06
Updated: 2011-11-06
Packaged: 2017-10-25 18:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/273265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash thinks he's seeing a certain familiar face everywhere...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy In The Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KoohiiCafe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoohiiCafe/gifts).



> Written for Raven from an idea she shared with me! Hope she enjoys it!

It was the creepiest sensation he’d ever experienced in his life. Worse than being trailed around a run-down cabin by a bunch of Deadites, and scarier than looking down the barrel of a shotgun and trying to avoid death at the hands of Arthur. It was like someone kept running ice up and down his spine, and as much as he tried to ignore it, he kept seeing things – seeing her, peering around corners and staring at him from behind curves.

Nah. It was just an illusion. He’d worked too many double-shifts this week, and the pressure was finally getting to him.

But sometimes when the shadows fell across the aisle in the wrong way or he felt a particularly harsh chill coming off the frozen food display case, he would shudder and pause and try to get rid of the creeping sensation teasing his skin.

Just another Deadite trick, he decided, and got on with life.

***

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

Ash looked up from the Enquirer he’d spread out over his checkout station. “Yeah. And Elvis is taking a duce in the men’s room right now.”

Ted the stockboy rolled his eyes. “Seriously. My landlord thinks there’s someone re-arranging the peanut butter on aisle twelve.”

“You should take it up with him, then,” Ash growled. “I’ve got supernatural hooey shooting out of my ass; don’t need to add any more to it.”

“Geez, all I wanted you to do was listen!” Ted pouted.

“Then talk to me about stuff that ain’t bullshit,” Ash growled.

Ted rolled his eyes. “Whatever, man. I’ll catch you later.”

Ash glowered after his retreating form. Damn it, there it was again! That horrible, creepy/crawly feeling of doom. He shivered and tightened his hand around the handle of the mop, prepared to jam it into the gullet of whatever was stalking him.

But when he whirled around, there was nothing there.

Just a couple of bottles of shampoo, lying on their sides on the floor of the store.

***

“So you think your ghost is stealing shampoo?”  
Ash glared at Ted, his jaw ticking as he bent over the battery display. “No. I think they’re trying to make me crack again; take my mind when I’m not looking.”

“Yeah – that makes sense…”

Ash glared at the floor, slamming his fist into it. “Are you gonna try to help me, or are you gonna make fun of me?” he growled.

“I thought you didn’t want any help!”

Ash frowned. “No. I just want to make sure I ain’t losing it.” His hand tightened on the butt of his gun. “Just keep your eyes peeled.”

“Right.” There was another roll of the eyes. Ash glowered and turned toward the display. Damn it, he needed to keep his mind together, stop worrying about tomorrow and just go for it.

That was when he saw a shadow pass by – through the produce aisle, rushing to the back door.

The shape was unmistakable.

It was HER. THE her.

Sheila.

***

“The ghost of your ex-lover is stalking produce?”

Ash took a huge bite out of his sandwich. “Don’t make me kick your ass,” he growled, jabbing a thumb at Ted’s neck.

Ted sucked a mouthful of milk down. “You have to admit it’s a pretty weird coincidence,” he declared. “She’s got to be really…uh….dead.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Ash grumbled, mashing the potato chips in his metallic fist to dust.

“Uh…I think I’m gonna go back in early,” Ted squeaked, staring at Ash’s fist.  
“Fine, run away! Ya little coward!” Ash growled. “I’m holding it all together! I’m doing all right! I’m gonna be fine!”

He forced himself to maintain a grip on life. There was no way in hell she could be following him around.

Right?

That was the only thought he had before a fist reached out and grabbed him by the neck, slamming Ash into the concrete pavement.

Damn Deadite! He – it – used to be Phil from Crafts. Now he was trying to claw Ash’s chest open to feast on his heart. Typical Monday for Ash, except Phil had both of his arms pinned down and Ash couldn’t struggle free from his weight. Fear ravaged Ash; he would die here, in the damn parking lot, with his gun two inches from his frozen fingertips. He tried to meet his end without screaming too loudly…

…That vow died on a merciful bang, which showered his entire face with green-grey blood. He wrenched free his wrist and made quick work of the rest of the Deadite with his saw.

Then there was peace, and quiet.

And a woman standing a few feet away in a skirt and tank-top, a gun smoking in her fist.

Ash rolled to his feet, watching her watching him. He was pretty sure ghosts couldn’t sling guns, but it never hurt to ask questions.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

“Ash…it’s me!” She smiled, throwing down the gun. “I have come to be with thee.”

Ash stared at her, blank-faced. “Wanna tell me how you managed to do that, princess?” he asked. “thought I left you back with the other stuffed shirts in the thirteen hundreds.”

She shook her head. “I did feel a great pang in my heart for you. So I followed you..ye…here and learned how to live as a modern woman might. I have a job, and a home…And I wouldst adore to be with thee.”

Ash pulled back from her “You’ve been stalking me, baby! And that’s….kinda hot.”

She smiled. “Does thou still desire…sugar?”

“Hell yeah, baby.” He grabbed and dipped her. “Pucker up.”

And so there they kissed, among the forgotten lunch, smoking Deadite remains and doddering pigeons.  


  
It wasn’t the most auspicious beginning a relationship ever had, but the important part was that it was a beginning.


End file.
